Hey, Everybody!
Tim Joe Comstock, CEO
UBLBGS, Inc
Dateline Florida.
Man, nobody ever said 'Ol Tim Joe is the swiftest runner in the pack or the sharpest knife in the drawer or any other kind of Superlative Creature. Sometimes it takes me awhile to Figure It Out. Here I am sitting on 55 sample bottles of Uncle Bill's Legendary Backcountry Gator Sauce and just hoping to ship it out to all my friends....wait...uh, okay, I already shipped it out to both my friends so what I guess I mean is there's 53 bottles left so:
Come And Get It!
As Official Spokesman and Front Man for Uncle Bill's It only occurred to me a minute ago that I could start a Blog here on Booger in order to establish some kind of Home Base and World Headquarters where everyone can come and hear the Beautiful and Tasty story of Uncle Bill and his Semi-Loyal and Half-Witty Sidekick the Trailer Park Cyclist. Here is a picture of our World Headquarters:
Each Highly Secret Phase of Sauce Production takes place in these sterile and more-or-less Government Approved laboratory-kitchen places. (That's the official story.)
Here's How Ya Do It
It cost $5.00 at the local House of Snail Mail to stick it in one of those soft bubbly envelopes (the sauce, I mean) and then a few days later there it is! After that you simply slap it on your Favorite Grillin' Food of Choice and voila! You will be Hooked and my Evil Plan Will Have Worked.
Boo, Our Receptionist and Envelope Stuffer
Why We Do It
Until I have every Cyclist, Biker, Hog-farmer and Hay-bailer in America and the Ukraine and Points In Between addicted to this stuff Uncle Bill will have to keep mowing lawns and I will have to keep fixing up crappy trailers so Get Off Your Butts and Send Me All Your Money.
It Ain't $19.99
Why We Do It
Until I have every Cyclist, Biker, Hog-farmer and Hay-bailer in America and the Ukraine and Points In Between addicted to this stuff Uncle Bill will have to keep mowing lawns and I will have to keep fixing up crappy trailers so Get Off Your Butts and Send Me All Your Money.
It Ain't $19.99
Or at least respond in the comments section below and I'll hassle out a sample on an individual basis. Matt Dillon over at Dillon Bikes swapped a DB T-Shirt for a sample bottle and it was a Fair Enough Trade. I guess. I don't know. I hope he thinks so. I'm just a Trailer Park Cyclist and Repairman so my business deals don't always go the way I planned but if you work with me I'm sure we can figure out a way to put some South In Your Mouth.
Until Then: Gator Up, Everybody!
Until Then: Gator Up, Everybody!
Our Founder
Uncle Bill, World's Nicest Man and Last Living Keeper of the Secret of the Sauce
Tim Joe do you, or your founder, have a paypal account I can send some $$$ to? I am about to complete, and hopefully sell, a rain bike (12 speed with fenders) and I will be flush with spending money until I send it all to Amazon in exchange for bike stuff so let me know.
ReplyDeleteRoadie Ryan
Yeah, I set up a paypal so I could send Judi (Miles and Madness) some "save her dog money". I'll have to figure it out for how to GET money, which would be cool as hell.
ReplyDeleteBut not you. Just tell me where to send it, go buy some grillin' grub and wait.
By the way, after drinkin' beer and chasing the Blonde around the kitchen table, spending money on bicycle parts is my fourth favorite thing in the world. First, of course, is The Ride.
yer buddy, TJ
Australia does not have decent sauce of any kind it seems. Don't know if I can get a bottle past customs, but I am willing to take the gamble. The postage may be huge, please charge a bit extra for the trouble. Where do I send the cash.
ReplyDeleteDee, if you will give me an address at unclebillsgatorsauce@gmail.com I will figure out some way to get you a bottle of sauce, money be damned. This elixir will save the planet, one palate at a time. TJ
ReplyDelete